It's 1:30 in the morning, I'm sitting at my computer. Can't sleep, I'm a bit too hot. Can't sleep, my brain's swirling round like a soft serve twist. i look over my shoulder and there lies Aimee in a happy coma. God if she isn't one of the most beautiful things put on earth.

So why am I not there snuggled up next to my earthly goddess , my magdelena. Well I had to unload some pics to my archives that I had shot earlier and sometimes you need to write. Just to get out what you're thinking, put it down, look at it.

I put on some music and let adobe bridge sort through the shots , while I reflect. Aimee comes over, I present her with a beautiful boquet of summer flowers in a glass vase. Shame no florist had sunflowers, I really wanted her to have an explosion of her favourite flower, but they were pretty nonethless. I introduce her to the family, smiles all around, the off to dinner where the first round of drinks we had were comped by the head waiter as he had to switch up our seating.

Pina coladas are cold.

No really, they're friggin freezing.

Apparently I'm a masochist as I kept drinking it too fast and getting brain freeze. Hurt so good.

Then back to my place which ultimately ended up with Aimee in a happy little coma and me sitting here typing on my journal. We also watched a couple episodes of wonder showzen so btw Mtv 2 should burn in hell for grabbing such an awesome show and doing nothing with it.

I want to say something, anything, but I don't know what to say. It's like the words are floating in the air and I can't quite make them out. I'm crazy about her and sometimes I just wanna squeeze her just to know she's there and I'm not in some asylum banging my head on the walls, chronically masturbating to old reruns of the patridge family when I'm even slightly lucid.

I'm a man full of issues and insecurities. Hopes and dreams. Demons and angels. I'm a pretty messed up bird, but I hide it really well. Late night ramblings and random ventings don't even begin to cover a quarter of what's inside me.

But.

But....she makes the sun shine. The air fresh. The world a nicer place. I may be a fool and some may say a blind man with no hands to feel his way, but I can see what's in front of me and it is glorious.

Funny how my music player just chose "Believe" by Staind right now. How utterly appropriate. It's kind of funny how the shuffle function knows just what you want to here.

So maybe just maybe I'm starting to beleive in something worthwhile. Maybe things can change, life can re-arrange and what you thought you wanted ain't nearly as good as what you're gonna get.


I sit alone and watch the clock
trying to collect my thoughts
and all I think about is you

if you believe in me
then life's not always what it seems

Believe in me
cause I was made for chasing dreams


Ok emo ramblings done, moving on. P.S Yeah I know you're reading this, youre amazing and I crave you.


Finishing up my smoke, adobe's almost done , feeling good and vented. Brains flipping gears and bringing my attention to the sleeping girl behind me....